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Dear Family and Friends,

As you know we are very excited to start a family.

We wanted to utilize every resource available and so we have decided to create an adoption blog. We feel that this is a great opportunity to spread the word. If you know of anyone considering adoption and would like to know more about us, please direct them to...

http://www.patrickanderinadoption.blogspot.com/

If you would like to contact us directly you can e-mail us at patrickanderinadoption@yahoo.com

Thank you so much!

Patrick and Erin

Trusting in His love...

On Monday, September 29 at 12:28 pm I received the dreaded phone call. “Erin, she is not coming back.”

I talked with our case worker for a few more minutes but I don’t remember any of it- except for the words ringing in my ears, “She’s not coming back.”

I hung up the phone and instantly fell to my knees and sobbed like a little child. I was home alone and vocally offered my deep sorrow to my Heavenly Father.

“Why would our birth mother do this to us? Why didn’t this happen before I quit my job? Why not before we completely decorated the nursery?”

But mostly, “Why did we feel so connected to this baby girl? Why did we feel like we had received a very clear answer to our prayers that she was to be apart of our family?”

Patrick came home a few minutes later. He held me tight as we sat together, sad.

For the past two weeks every waking moment had been focused on preparing for this little one, and Patrick knew it would be good for us to get away for a while. He found us a darling bed and breakfast a couple hours away. Before I knew it he booked it for the entire week.

This place was perfect.

The colors in Logan were gorgeous and the Temple was near by.

We had an entire week to be together, and to feel our Heavenly Father near. I am embarrassed to admit it, but at first I felt like He had tricked us or given us false hope.

But as time went on, I could feel His love and was reminded of some truths I have always known…

*Heavenly Father and our Savior really do listen to our prayers. They mourn when we mourn and rejoice when we rejoice. They understand the longing of our heart, but also, they have a plan for our lives. Often times we just need to be patient and trust.

*I am reminded that we all have free-agency. Our birth-mother had her agency to leave. I have my agency to be angry and sad or to learn from this experience. I feel I have done both.

*I am in absolute awe at the love we have been shown by family, friends and even people we don’t know. Your prayers have strengthened us and we are incredibly thankful.

I am thankful for the opportunity to watch General Conference and learn from our leaders this weekend. So many of the talks spoke to my heart and gave me great comfort. What a blessing.

I love my sweet husband so much and am thankful for his love and support. We know we will be parents someday. It won’t be as soon as we had hoped, but one day we will hold our little one and all of this heartache will go away.

I just know it.

A Humble Plea for Help...

Tonight we are sad.

Tonight we are asking for your help.

We need your prayers. We need your faith.

Two weeks ago we found out that we had been chosen by a birth mother. We were thrilled- beyond words. She is due October 1st. Our nursery is set up. The car seat is ready to go.

We did not shout it from the roof tops because with adoption nothing is final until it's final.

Last week we found out that our birth mother had an emergency in Ohio with her family. Against all advice, and only a week and a half before she was due, she flew away promising to be back... by today. But an hour before she was to land she called her social worker and told her that she got the flu and could not fly.

We are devastated.

If she does not return to Utah and delivers in Ohio our cost would increase by at least $12,000 because she is not insured in Ohio. We would be required to fly there, pay all medical expenses and stay for up to two weeks.

This, added with the original expense of adoption, is just too much.

Please, from the bottom of our incredibly heavy hearts, pray that she will feel inspired- or even compelled to return. Pray that she will be healthy enough to fly. Pray that her labor will be delayed until she safely returns.

We already feel so completely attached to this baby girl and pray that she will become apart of our family.

But all we can do is pray.

We are ACTIVE

The word active seems like a simple one.

The dictionary defines it like this...

1. engaged in action; characterized by energetic work.
2. involving physical effort and action: active sports.
3. having the power of quick motion; nimble: active as a gazelle.

The dictionary does not define ACTIVE the way we are active.

As of today, after several interviews, piles of paper work, doctor appointments, background checks, creating a scrapbook of our lives and lots of prayers, our adoption profile is officially active.

So what does that mean exactly?

Our profile can finally be shown to birth mothers and we are another step closer to becoming parents.

We could still have a long road ahead of us,

but

it never felt so good to be active...

The power of the secret...

Have you heard of the power of “The Secret”?

This is the secret- what you truly believe in your heart will come to you.

But you have to believe it...

Completely.

You have to live as though the thing you want is already in your life.

You become ready for it and it will suddenly appear.

We totally believe in the power of the secret.

Yesterday we were at Costco.

We made our first purchase for our little baby that will come to us someday...

It will be soon… We can feel it!

We were giddy. It was fun buying something for our baby. We want to do it again and again…

I got to thinking, there are lots of things we need for the arrival of our little one.

Clothes
Diapers
Wipes
Shampoo
Powder
Formula
Bottles
Pacifier
Baby Monitor
Car Seat
Crib
Stroller

What am I missing?

I need your help…

What are your favorites? What are the best brands? The must haves?

Give me the inside scoop!

Can I buy them all in advance?

“If you build it, they will come.”

.

We'll keep praying...

We can’t wait!

Just put one foot in front of the other…

I love this picture.

I took this picture the first time I went to Ghana… all alone…

To me this picture was more to me than a pretty little scene. It became a metaphor of what I was doing.

The truth is, I wasn’t really sure what I was doing, but I knew I was on the right path. I could not see where the path was leading, but I had faith and just knew it was the right place for me to be at that time.

My sweet husband and I have now started down a new little path.

Yesterday we meet with the adoption agency we would like to use. They were kind, encouraging, and optimistic that we would be parents… often they have placed babies within 6 months.

As we left with a long list of things we need to do to begin the process, tears streamed down my face. She could already be out there… our birth mother. She could already be pregnant… this very minute.

I find myself praying for her… often.

“Please bless her with health.” “Please strengthen her in her decision of adoption” “Please let her know that we already love her.”

It’s so strange. I do love her. I have no idea who she is, but God does.

We have a long stretch of road out ahead of us.

But hand in hand, with each step, we are that much closer.

Trusting in His time…

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mommy.

Some of my childhood baby dolls still reside at my parents’ home where they are now lovingly cared for by my nieces when they visit.

I remember washing their hair, combing out the tangles carefully so it wouldn’t hurt, picking out the perfect outfit and putting them to bed when they got too sleepy.

I started babysitting when I was 11 years old. I remember bringing along my “babysitting care kit” full of games and fun activities.

I put together a preschool summer camp when I was 14 and invited all the families I knew with small children.

I majored in Family Science in college to give me a solid base in raising a strong family.

After graduation I started teaching high school and now had the opportunity to work with teenagers, which, as you know, is a completely different ball game.

I learned that I love working with teenagers and truly valued the moments when they would come to talk with me after school, just because.

I wanted to be married. I wanted to start a family. But all the while, I felt my Heavenly Father calming my soul… asking me to be patient.

I trusted Him.

Having my summers off, I had the chance to travel every summer for 9 years, including my experiences to Africa.

I met Patrick and knew he was my perfect match. We got married one week before I turned 33 years old. He was totally worth the wait!

We both were equally excited to start a family. But nothing happened.

We called doctors for an appointment and were told that they would not see us until we had been trying for a year.

On our first anniversary we set an appointment and received “ALL” the information we would need to know. Nothing worked.

We visited a few more doctors who tried multiple tests, still nothing.

We are approaching our 2nd Anniversary.

We are now eligible to apply for adoption through the agency we would like to use. Next week we have an appointment with this adoption agency.

I thought I might feel defeated, but I don’t.

I thought I might feel forgotten, but I don’t.

I thought I might feel betrayed, but I don’t.

Heavenly Father has a plan for us. He, who controls the cosmos, has a plan for me and my husband and our little family.

I would be lying if I told you I have not shed a tear. Several have fallen. But there is a deep inner peace that tells me everything will be ok.

I am thankful for all the opportunities in my life…

And we will trust in His time…