Little Lessons You Teach Me

Dear Calan,

For 4 months I have been blessed with the opportunity to be your mommy. For a very long time I looked forward to feeding you, washing you, rocking you, playing with you.

I never dreamed that at such a young age you would teach me so much. When I least expect it, without any words, you teach me a beautiful little lesson that changes the way I look at life. I don't want to forget these precious moments so I will write them down to share with you one day...

You are learning new things everyday. We feel so proud of you! When you smile and giggle for me and daddy we hover over you and soak it all in. The first time you discovered your little fingers we were amazed! I was feeding you a couple weeks ago and as I sat you up you burped all by yourself! You're Incredible! :)

Even your simplest accomplishments are so exciting to us.

The other morning daddy had already left, so his job of sucking out your congested nose fell on my shoulders. I'm no good at it and we both know it. You were so patient with me... you tried to stay really still and didn't cry one bit. The look on your face said to me- "that was a really good try, mom".

I told you over and over what a big boy you were and that I was so proud of you.

A feeling swept over me that said, "And I'm proud of you."

I was taken back for a minute. I felt that just as daddy and I praise you, our Heavenly Father was equally proud of all of us for our simple accomplishments throughout the day.

I had never thought of it before- but in my mind doing the "over achiever accomplishments" would surely gain the praise of my ever watching Heavenly Father. But in that brief moment, as I stood there full of pride for you, I felt that even our smallest actions are not only noted, but praised openly on the other side.

So while finding the cure for cancer will never be in my list of accomplishments, I did smile and say 'good morning' to the people we passed on our walk today- even though I hadn't brushed my hair yet and would have rather ducked my head.

But it felt good- and that tells me it was the right thing to do.

And that's how HE tells us He's proud of us.

Thank you, my little son, for helping me to more fully understand that.