When Cal was little I had some posts I called “Little lessons you teach me”. These were moments in my parenting where I could feel and more deeply understand my Heavenly Father’s love and role in my life.
Every month we take close to 500 pictures… seriously. It’s nuts! Almost daily, pictures are taken of this or that cute thing the kids are doing. I download them often and keep them well organized. With these pictures, the “what” we did in our life will be well documented.
However, precious learning moments, I’m afraid, may be forgotten. So as these moments come- if possible I want to capture a picture and write it down.
This particular little moment happens frequently in our home. When I’m getting ready in the morning the kids come into my room and play. Often Cal will run into our closet and “hide” from me. I will hear him giggle and then yell out, “Mama”. Every time I will reply, “Oh no, Ellie, where is Calan? I can’t see him.” The giggles will continue from the closet and soon enough I will hear again, “Mama”. “Calan, are you lost? Where did you go?” Then he will pop out and I act shocked and say, “Oh Calan, there you are… I was so worried. He just laughs and laughs and then hides again.
He sincerely believes I can’t see him...
One time while playing this little game a very clear thought came to my mind. How often do I feel I can hide from the Lord when I’m not living up to my full potential? Or even, how many times have I questioned if He knew I was there… calling out to Him waiting for His reply. My life is so very blessed, but there are some days that I feel overwhelmed with 2 very young children. There were some lonely days before I met my Patrick. There were some feelings of being forgotten when we struggled with infertility. “Are you there?” I would cry to Him. “Do you remember me?” I knew deep down He was there, but in my sorrow it was sometimes easier to feel abandoned.
This little lesson has changed my perspective completely. When I pray I try harder to imagine Him near me… listening, caring, smiling and even crying with me. If I don’t feel His Spirit near it is because I have chosen to “hide”. He will patiently wait for me to come to Him and say “here I am” even though He was there and aware of me the whole time.
He is our loving Heavenly Father. He would never leave us, it is us who turns our backs on Him. He allowed His son suffered for our sins, our sorrow, our pain. They know us perfectly. We are never alone. Ever. And I truly believe, they are closer than we could ever imagine.
What a beautiful lesson. Thank you little Cal.
